What do you do when you need to tell someone close to you something that they do not want to hear? What if it's something they have heard from everyone else, and they expect you to be different? What if they are doing themselves harm by ignoring everyones' warnings?

This is the situation that I am in right now. I have a dear friend whom I will refer to as Carla. We have been friends for years, and have seen each other through a lot. Our lives have been, in many ways, parallel. We have had man trouble, we have had financial issues, and we have ranted about how horrible our lives have been over coffee and cheesecake.

Carla is now choosing to be friends with someone who has hurt her in the past; a girl that I will refer to as Melanie. Carla and Melanie were very close, especially when I was on the other side of the country and could not be here for her as much. Yet Carla confided in me that Melanie had stolen from her, lied to/about her, spoken about her behind her back, and actually spoken about me behind my back.

Carla had decided that she was done with Melanie. Melanie, however, was not done with Carla. They have since spent time together and Carla is choosing to be friends with Melanie again.

I have tried to gently suggest that Melanie is a negative influence upon Carla , but she has become defensive and told me that I'm telling her the same thing everyone else is telling her. I don't want to shut her out when she needs a good friend, but at the same time I feel that by keeping silent of how strongly I feel about this situation, I am an accessory to what may be an even more painful episode than last time.

Melanie does not have Carla's best interests at heart. Yet Carla does not seem to want to listen to someone who does.

I am at a loss.